A fictional letter by Warren Buckleitner from Daniel Terry and Harlan Crystal, who published Tap Zoo, currently one of the top Grossing Apps in iTunes. This letter originally appears in the May 2011 issue of Children’s Technology Review.
Psssst. Hey you. Wanna make some ca$h? A LOT of cash (like $millions?). Here’s what you do, and we promise, no laws or bones will be broken. First, find yourself an innocent slightly bored 5 to 7 year old kid with an iPad or iPod touch. Now come up with an item that kids can’t resist. We’ve had good luck with cute looking animals— stuff that makes a kid say “awwww!” Now make a free app with an icon that has kid appeal. That’s your lure; design it carefully. It needs to shout “come play with me!” You can copy a game (we used the Zoo Tycoon and FarmVille) and offer up a pair of free gorillas. Make it a snap to download and get started. You need to get the little kids invested and feeling like they own the zoo at the beginning. This is very important. If you want ideas for roping in a child, visit a casino and watch some compulsive gamblers. You can learn how to trick a little kid into wanting to keep playing. For example, every four minutes or so, we deliver a little bit of pretend money, making them think they can buy more animals if they stay with their zoo. It’s like a digital M&M, and those little suckers fall for it!
After they are lovey dovey with their gorillas, it’s time for the big tease. Show them other peoples zoos, teaming with tigers, penguins, sea turtles, monkeys — or perhaps even “the Big Castle!” It’s mean but it works. You can’t have supply unless you have demand, right? Associate the cool stuff with an order form, so those penguin-loving kids start getting on their parents. You see, a six or seven year old kid is too young to understand abstract things like passwords and credit cards. To them, its just part of the “get mom to give me stuff” game that every child is born with. And stop thinking of this kid as a person. She’s your mule to get to mommy’s bank account. The best part of this whole robbery is that you’re going to have Apple driving your getaway car! They keep a cut, but they also cut the checks. Apple is like is your Swiss bank account.
Make sure you use a currency system that sounds fake and harmless. Don’t call it “dollars” because that could tip off mom or dad. We use “stars” and one of our competitors, CapCom’s The Smurfs’ Village, uses “Smurfberries.” Another thing you don’t want to do is to tell the parents that a simple, functional zoo might cost well over $400, about the cost of a dish washer. Keep these dirty little secrets as hidden and cryptic as possible. Also, sell a lot of starter items for just $.99, to numb them up, so a parent will think, “well, that isn’t much, OK, squirt, here’s my iTunes password, now keep quiet.” Believe me, kids are great at getting that password. We’ve seen four year olds do it.
The buying part needs to be really thought out carefully. Make it so that when the kid touches the “Buy Stars” you tease ‘em with a model zoo, teaming with animals and then deliver them to iTunes as quickly and as frequently as possible. Sure, they’ll see the “Do you want to buy one Vial of Stars for $0.99?”warning, and they might hit “cancel” but non-readers have fair chance of hitting “OK.” Here’s another great trick. Sell stars by the barrel for $99.99! To a kid, a barrel sounds like more fun. Finally, make sure all sales are final. No refunds. How much money can you make? We’re over a $million bucks A MONTH! Dude, it’s so easy, it’s like stealing candy from a baby!
Sincerely,
Daniel Terry and Harlan Crystal, Co-Founders of Pocket Gems (www.pocketgems.com)
*Note: This is a pretend letter (by Warren Buckleitner) based on existing practices. Learn more about Daniel and Harlan at http://pocketgems.com/about/the-team.php. We appreciate the fact that they didn’t attempt to hide their identity, and welcome their response to this letter.
2 Responses to “Why Tap Zoo is a Morality Fail”
Leave a Reply
Your comment will appear after moderation.
May 30th, 2011 at 4:45 am
True enough, this is probably close to what they thought and it is exactly why they highly ranked. However in app purchases are refundable, most people just don’t know it. Apple doesn’t even let the developer respond, they just issue a refund.
Social games like these are a big red warning sign to parents, or at least they should be!
June 2nd, 2011 at 10:30 am
Thanks for all that you do Warren!